Codependent and narcissist relationship

The Dance Between Codependents & Narcissists

codependent and narcissist relationship

How Narcissus and Echo suffer the painful curse of their relationship. Posted Dec 06, Surprisingly, most narcissists are codependent, too. They're. Narcissistic Relationships. Since writing Codependency for Dummies, countless people contact me about their unhappiness and difficulties in dealing with a. My last piece titled "Narcissists & Codependency: You can't have One into being the person, the situation, or relationship we're in calls for.

Their roles seem natural to them because they have actually been practicing them their whole lives. The codependent reflexively gives up their power; since the narcissist thrives on control and power, the dance is perfectly coordinated.

No one gets their toes stepped on. Typically, codependents give of themselves much more than their partners give back to them.

The Dance between Codependents and Narcissists - Ross's Latest Article

As generous — but bitter — dance partners, they seem to be stuck on the dance floor, always waiting for the next song, at which time they naively hope that their narcissistic partner will finally understand their needs.

Codependents confuse caretaking and sacrifice with loyalty and love. Although they are proud of their unwavering dedication to the person they love, they end up feeling unappreciated and used.

codependent and narcissist relationship

Codependents yearn to be loved, but because of their choice of dance partner, find their dreams unrealized. With the heartbreak of unfulfilled dreams, codependents silently and bitterly swallow their unhappiness. Codependents are essentially stuck in a pattern of giving and sacrificing, without the possibility of ever receiving the same from their partner.

codependent and narcissist relationship

They pretend to enjoy the dance, but really harbor feelings of anger, bitterness, and sadness for not taking an active role in their dance experience. They are convinced that they will never find a dance partner who will love them for who they are, as opposed to what they can do for them. Their low self-esteem and pessimism manifests itself into a form of learned helplessness that ultimately keeps them on the dance floor with their narcissistic partner. The narcissist dancer, like the codependent, is attracted to a partner who feels perfect to them: Someone who lets them lead the dance while making them feel powerful, competent and appreciated.

In other words, the narcissist feels most comfortable with a dancing companion who matches up with their self-absorbed and boldly selfish dance style.

The Dance between Codependents and Narcissists

Narcissist dancers are able to maintain the direction of the dance because they always find partners who lack self-worth, confidence and who have low self-esteem — codependents. With such a well-matched companion, they are able to control both the dancer and the dance. This mechanism has become a way of life to them. Why They Keep Coming Back: They might simply apologize or ignore whatever happened to restore the status quo. This is why many narcissists become uncontrollably abusive.

Responding to our pain with love is a challenge we actually all need to embrace! When your narcissist partner flips out on you, makes you feel flawed and deserts you… how do YOU feel?

Your walls of protection are a little thinner. You are sort of on the fence.

The Dance Between Codependents & Narcissists

This is where you both do the same thing in different ways. But it has to start with ourselves. I know from personal experience that any desire to save another usually comes from the desire to be saved. This is precisely what I am in the process of learning today: The by-product of choosing to unconditionally love and heal ourselves is the ONLY way to inspire others to do the same.

Energy speaks much louder than words! Maybe things will change one day. It is the passive acceptance of what hurts you.

codependent and narcissist relationship