8 Barriers to Relationship Communications | LoveToKnow
A lot of the time, the phrase "healthy communication" sounds like a collection of are a bunch of tips and tricks available to communicate and argue more from filtering what you hear to cultural differences, being distracted. Communicate, understand and be patient: key factors in surviving intercultural marriage! InterNations offers examples of how to make intercultural marriage. Getting down to business vs. relationship building is that someone from a low- context culture may think she is communicating a very specific.
Never underestimate the depth of the roots of your own upbringing. But no matter how deep you dig, you will always be you. Your beliefs, your emotions, your priorities, in short, your whole approach to life, are shaped by the culture in which you were brought up. This leads to the obvious: Some degree of cross-pollenization is bound to occur between two people who share an intimate relationship but when you start to expect change, then you start to get into big trouble.
The best thing you can do for each other is to acknowledge the fact that conflicts will occur and will often occur for the simplest and most unexpected reasons. That said, it should be quite obvious that you will want to find out as much as you possibly can about your potential partner and his or her lifestyle.
You would be surprised how much is taken for granted in typical marriages, even among partners of the same background. Make sure you discuss with your partner every aspect of your future life together. Those areas are often the most important things to discuss. And that brings me to the next rule: If your partner refuses to discuss a subject openly, treat that as a big red flag and find out why.
The beliefs people hold most dear are the ones which they are least likely to want to discuss with someone else. Well, the term common sense covers a lot of ground and is often based on those underlying assumptions we have been trying so hard not to look at. The only things that are actually common are things like not standing in front of a speeding truck or not walking into an empty elevator shaft. Make it a point to talk about some tough topics like money, raising children, where to live, etc.
Look, the stuff is going to come up sooner or later. Start an argument or two.Culture and Relationships: Is it important ? Part 1
No amount of love or respect is going to keep your ship from hitting the icebergs of life. You might as well know whether you will be able to work together toward a solution when the inevitable crisis comes up. Make sure that, between the two of you, there is at least one language in which you are both fluent. This is very important. As a test, try taking some very subtle feeling or belief and explain it to your potential mate.
Have him or her explain it back. If there is not a substantial understanding of what you explained, watch out. If either of you are unable to explain the subtle emotions that come up in a relationship without causing some misunderstanding, then you will be in for a very hard, if not impossible, road through life.
8 Barriers to Relationship Communications
Wait a while until one or the other of you is able to achieve a good degree of fluency in the others language. After all, would you hook up permanently with someone whose face you had never seen? Not many of us would. Then how come we will so readily hook up with a partner whose soul we have never seen? Examine your own motives.
Is this someone you would hook up with even if you were safe and happy in your own country? If you are the partner who is trying to live in another culture, remember this: Culture shock can do funny things to a normally rational mind. What you have is a parent or a teacher, not a lover. Counselling for cross cultural issues can help couples step outside of their restrictive cultural identities to see one another with greater clarity, as individuals.
What is cultural identity? Culture isn't just about the things we can see. It's not just about the national dish, the fashions people wear, the gods they worship, or even the places they live. Culture is for the most part invisible; we hardly even notice it until we're forced to step outside and see it from a new perspective. A large amount of what we do, say, think, believe and to some extent, feel - is shaped by the culture we come from.
From a young age, information we absorb from the world around us influences our: Cross cultural relationship issues Particular challenges faced by people in cross cultural relationships include: Lifestyle disagreements in cross cultural relationships Lifestyle disagreements are arguments involving daily life.
These disagreements can sometimes be sparked by resentment because one or both partners feel their culture is being rejected or attacked when the other refuses to follow their customs or traditions.
Cross cultural relationships
Some lifestyle disagreements include: Eating and drinking - Different cultures have different views on alcohol consumption and diets vary greatly around the world. Clothing - Sometimes people change what they wear to fit in with another culture.
Chore distribution - Different views on gender roles can spark conflict when it comes to distributing domestic chores. Money - Money can be a big stumbling block when it comes to relationship harmony.
How people deal with money, how they value money and how they spend it can be quite dependant on the culture they come from. Counselling can help iron out these domestic problems by looking at the driving forces behind them.
Sobering Advice for anyone contemplating a cross-cultural marriage | Joe Larabell
Often, the problems run deeper than they first appear and couples can benefit from getting them out in the open to tackle head on. With so many obstacles to overcome in cross cultural relationships, having clear communication lines in everyday life is essential. Religious differences If you fall in love with someone who doesn't share your religious beliefs, how do you get around the fact that you might have different fundamental ideas about life?
Are your beliefs compatible? Would you sacrifice some of your rituals, or soften some of your beliefs, to make your partner happy? Some of the main religious issues in cross cultural relationships include: Incompatible beliefs - Two people might love each other for other reasons, but if a couple can't agree on fundamental values, conflicts can arise. Unsupportive families - In some cultures the preservation of religion is of the utmost importance.
With rapid globalisation and the merging of cultures across the world, it's becoming increasingly difficult to hold onto some religious traditions. While some cultures still practise arranged marriages, not all young people are happy with this and many fall in love with people outside of their religion.
This can cause huge family rifts and people are often forced to choose between their families and their partners. Bringing up children - When two people with two different religions have a child, they have to come to some kind of agreement about how they bring up this child. Do they teach them about both religions and let the child decide when they're old enough? Or, do they choose one religion? Guilt - The ideologies we grow up with never really leave us.
Even if you reach a point in life where you lose or change your faith, those core principals you grew up with can leave their mark. Guilt is a big part of letting some or all of your beliefs and practices go, and this guilt can quickly lead to one partner resenting the other for leading them away from their birth culture. Religious differences have been known to rip good, loving relationships apart. Learning how to deal with them is paramount.
Dealing with religious differences in cross cultural relationships Religious differences don't have to signal the end of a relationship - having conflicting views about the world can be a healthy and enlightening experience.
Couples counselling is designed to help you step back from your relationship and see it as a separate entity, away from both you and your partner. Your counsellor will encourage you to investigate the role religion plays in your relationship. What parts does it impact? The way you feel about each other? Next, your counsellor will help you identify the point at which religion started to have a negative effect on your relationship.
By looking back at how your relationship formed and the role religion played right at the beginning, you can work on reclaiming those initial feelings. Your religion need not smother your personal identity.
Coping Strategies for Intercultural Marriage | InterNations
It is possible to accept and embrace your partner's beliefs while staying true to your own. Variety is the spice of life, and as long as you respect one another's decisions, the odd disagreement shouldn't stand in the way of happiness. Language barriers Language is an important part of communication, but it is not actually necessary. Thousands of unspoken messages pass between people whenever they meet.
A glance here, a foot tap there, a flick of the hair, a tensing of the shoulders. Every movement tells a story and romance offers the richest vocabulary. While many cross cultural couples start out not understanding each other at all, normally at least one partner speaks the others' mother tongue - albeit basically. While a shared first language is not necessary for a happy romance, not having one can bring up challenges in the long run, including the following: Humour - A lot of humour is verbal; could you cope with your partner not understanding your jokes, or you not understanding theirs?
Misunderstandings - Language is the key to instructing, directing and expressing. If you can't do these things properly then you open yourself up to misinterpretation, which in turn can lead to conflict.
Frustration - When you have feelings for someone, you probably want to get as close as possible to them. Not speaking the same language as them means you will always have a barrier between you, something which can become very frustrating over time. Alienation - Meeting a partner's friends and family is a nerve-wracking experience for anybody. When you don't speak the same language, this experience can be 10 times as daunting.
When everyone around you is speaking in a different language, it can sometimes feel like they are talking about you.
Although they probably aren't, the paranoia and the frustration of not being able to engage in the way you want to can lead to feelings of alienation. Dealing with language issues in cross cultural relationships Counselling can help to improve communication pathways between couples, even when those couples don't share a first language.
By clearing up misunderstandings and voicing secret feelings about alienation and frustration, couples can step out from the tangle of problems miscommunication presents and start with a clean slate.
Make the effort - Even if your partner is a foreigner in your country, by taking the time to learn their language you can show that you want to be a part of their world as much as they've become a part of yours.