How to Develop a Good Parent and Child Relationship. The relationship between a parent and a child is among the most significant in a person's life. As one of. The Parent-Child Relationship is one that nurtures the. Not surprisingly, students of child development have devoted considerable attention to the parent-child relationship, in order to understand how it develops and.
Researchers have been particularly interested in understanding individual differences in the quality of attachment is inferred from behavior in the Strange Situation. The majority of children develop a secure attachment: If distressed, they want to be picked up and find comfort in her arms; if content, they smile, talk to her, or show her a toy.
In contrast, some children with an insecure attachment want to be picked up, but they are not comforted; they kick or push away. Others seem indifferent to the caregiver's return, and ignore her when she returns. The quality of the infant's attachment seems to be predictive of aspects of later development. Youngsters who emerge from infancy with a secure attachment stand a better chance of developing happy, competent relationships with others. The attachment relationship not only forms the emotional basis for the continued development of the parent-child relationship, but can serve as a foundation upon which subsequent social relationships are built.
Researchers disagree about the origins of a secure attachment relationship. One account focuses on the way caregivers behave toward their infants. According to this view, the key element is the caregiver's sensitivity in responding to the infant's signals. Secure infants have mothers who sensitively read their infant's cues and respond appropriately to their needs. Another perspective emphasizes the temperament of the infants.
A secure attachment is more easily formed between a caregiver and an infant with an easier disposition, or temperament, than between a caregiver and an infant who is characteristically negative, fearful, or not especially sociable. In this respect, security of attachment may reflect what the infant is like rather than how the caregiver behaves. Most likely, the early parent-child relationship is the product both of what the infant and caregiver bring to it. Toddlerhood When children move from infancy into toddlerhood, the parent-child relationship begins to change its focus.
During infancy, the primary function of the parent-child relationship is nurturance and predictability, and much of the relationship revolves around the day-to-day demands of caregiving: The attachment relationship develops out of these day-to-day interactions.
As youngsters begin to talk and become more mobile during the second and third years of life, however, parents usually attempt to shape their child's social behavior. In essence, parents become teachers as well as nurturers, providers of guidance as well as affection. The process of socialization—preparing the youngster to function as a member of a social group—implicit during most of the first two years of life, becomes explicit as the child moves toward his or her third birthday.
Socialization has been an important focus of research in child development for well over 60 years. Initially, researchers focused on particular child-rearing practices—including types of discipline and approaches to toilet training and weaning —in an effort to link specific parenting practices to aspects of the child's development.
Findings from this research were inconsistent and not especially informative. Over time, such efforts gave way to research that emphasized the overall emotional climate of the parent-child relationship, instead of discrete parenting practices. A number of studies conducted during the past 30 years have pointed to two overarching dimensions of the parent-child relationship that appear to be systematically linked to the child's psychological development: Responsive parents are warm and accepting toward their children, enjoying them and trying to see things from their perspective.
In contrast, parents who are low in responsiveness tend to be aloof, rejecting, or critical. They show little pleasure in their children and are often insensitive to their emotional needs. Demanding parents maintain consistent standards for their child's behavior. In contrast, parents who are insufficiently demanding are too lenient; they exercise minimal control, provide little guidance, and often yield to their child's demands.
Children's healthy psychological development is facilitated when the parents are both responsive and moderately demanding. During toddlerhood, children often begin to assert their desire for autonomy by challenging their parents. Sometimes, the child's newfound assertiveness during the "terrible twos" can put a strain on the parent-child relationship.
It is important that parents recognize that this behavior is normal for the toddler, and that the healthy development of independence is facilitated by a parent-child relationship that provides support and structure for the child's developing sense of autonomy. In many regards, the security of the initial attachment between infant Involving children in leisure activities, like fishing, can build stronger parent-child relationships.
Photo by Susan D. Preschool Many researchers study the ways in which responsiveness and demandingness interact to form a general tone, or climate, in the household.
Using this sort of approach, experts have identified four main parenting styles that typically emerge during the preschool years: Although no parent is absolutely consistent across situations and over time, parents do seem to follow some general tendencies in their approach to childrearing, and it is possible to describe a parent-child relationship in terms of the prevailing style of parenting employed.
These descriptions can be used to provide guidelines for both professionals and parents interested in understanding how variations in the parent-child relationship affect the child's development. Authoritative parents are both responsive and demanding; they are firm, but they discipline with love and affection, rather than powerand they are likely to explain rules and expectations to their children instead of simply asserting them.
Authoritarian parents are also highly demanding, but they are not less responsive; authoritarian parents tend to be strict disciplinarians, frequently relying on physical punishment and the withdrawal of affection to shape their child's behavior. Indulgent parents are responsive, but not especially demanding; they have few expectations of their children and impose little discipline.
Disengaged parents are neither responsive nor demanding. They may be neglectful or unaware of the child's needs for affection and discipline. What makes a parent more likely to use one style as opposed to another? Ultimately, the parenting style a parent employs is shaped by many factors: In addition, systematic comparisons of parenting practices among families living in different circumstances teach us that parents in different cultures, from different social classes, and from different ethnic groups rear their children differently.
Nevertheless, research has shown that aspects of children's behavior and psychological development are linked to the style of parenting with which they have been raised. Generally speaking, preschoolers with authoritative parents tend to be curious about new situations, focused and skilled at playself-reliant, self-controlled, and cheerful.
Children who are routinely treated in an authoritarian way tend to be moody, unhappy, fearful, withdrawn, unspontaneous, and irritable. Children of permissive parents tend to be low in both social responsibility and independence, but they are usually more cheerful than the conflicted and irritable children of authoritarian parents.8 Ways to Improve Parent Child Relationship
Finally, children whose parents are disengaged tend to have a higher proportion of psychological difficulties than other youngsters. School age During the elementary school years, the child becomes increasingly interested in peers, but this should not be taken as a sign of disinterest in the parent-child relationship.
Rather, with the natural broadening of psychosocial and cognitive abilities, the child's social world expands to include more people and settings beyond the home environment. Characteristics of the child Characteristics that may affect the parent-child relationship in a family include the child's physical appearance, sex, and temperament.
At birth, the infant's physical appearance may not meet the parent's expectations, or the infant may resemble a disliked relative. As a result, the parent may subconsciously reject the child. If the parents wanted a baby of a particular sex, they may be disappointed if the baby is the opposite sex. If parents do not have the opportunity to talk about this disappointment, they may reject the infant. Children who are loved thrive better than those who are not.
Either parent or a nonparent caregiver may serve as the primary caregiver or form the primary parent-child love relationship. Loss of love from a primary caregiver can occur with the death of a parent or interruption of parental contact through prolonged hospitalizations. Divorce can interfere with the child's need to eat, improve, and advance. Cultural norms within the family also affect a child's likelihood to achieve particular developmental milestones. Cultural impact In some countries, childrearing is considered protective nurturing.
Children are not rushed into new experiences like toilet training or being in school. In other countries, children are commonly treated in a harsh, strict manner, using shame or corporal punishment for discipline. In Central American nations, toilet training may begin as early as when the child can sit upright. Childhood in the United States stretches across many years. In other countries, children are expected to enter the adult world of work when they are still quite young: In addition, in Asian cultures, parents understand an infant's personality in part in terms of the child's year and time of birth.
Impact of birth order The position of a child in the family, whether a firstborn, a middle child, the youngest, an only child, or one within a large family, has some bearing on the child's growth and development. An only child or the oldest child in a family excels in language development because conversations are mainly with adults.
Children learn by watching other children; however, a firstborn or an only child, who has no example to watch, may not excel in other skills, such as toilet training, at an early age. Infancy As babies are cared for by their parents, both parties develop understandings of the other.
Gradually, babies begin to expect that their parent will care for them when they cry.
How to Develop a Good Parent and Child Relationship: 13 Steps
Gradually, parents respond to and even anticipate their baby's needs. This exchange and familiarity create the basis for a developing relationship. Attachment is a sense of belonging to or connection with a particular other. This significant bond between infant and parent is critical to the infant's survival and development. Started immediately after birth, attachment is strengthened by mutually satisfying interaction between the parents and the infant throughout the first months of life, called bonding.
By the end of the first year, most infants have formed an attachment relationship, usually with the primary caretaker. If parents can adapt to their babies, meet their needs, and provide nurturance, the attachment is secure. Psychosocial development can continue based on a strong foundation of attachment.
On the other hand, if a parent's personality and ability to cope with the infant's needs for care are minimal, the relationship is at risk and so is the infant's development. By six to seven months, strong feelings of attachment enable the infant to distinguish between caregivers and strangers.
The infant displays an obvious preference for parents over other caregivers and other unfamiliar people. Anxietydemonstrated by crying, clinging, and turning away from the stranger, is revealed when separation occurs. This behavior peaks between seven and nine months and again during toddlerhood, when separation may be difficult. Although possibly stressful for the parents, stranger anxiety is a normal sign of healthy child attachment and occurs because of cognitive development.
Most children develop a secure attachment when reunited with their caregiver after a temporary absence. In contrast, some children with an insecure attachment want to be held, but they are not comfortable; they kick or push away.
Others seem indifferent to the parent's return and ignore them when they return. The quality of the infant's attachment predicts later development. Youngsters who emerge from infancy with a secure attachment stand a better chance of developing happy and healthy relationships with others.
The attachment relationship not only forms the emotional basis for the continued development of the parent-child relationship, but can serve as a foundation for future social connections.
Secure infants have parents who sensitively read their infant's cues and respond properly to their needs. Toddlerhood When children move from infancy into toddlerhood, the parent-child relationship begins to change.
During infancy, the primary role of the parent-child relationship is nurturing and predictability, and much of the relationship revolves around the day-to-day demands of caregiving: As youngsters begin to talk and become more mobile during the second and third years of life, however, parents usually try to shape their child's social behavior.
Parent-Child Relationships - baby, Definition, Description
In essence, parents become teachers as well as nurturers, providers of guidance as well as affection. Socialization preparing the youngster to live as a member of a social group implicit during most of the first two years of life, becomes clear as the child moves toward his or her third birthday. Socialization is an important part of the parent-child relationship. It includes various child-rearing practices, for example weaning, toilet training, and discipline.
Dimensions of the parent-child relationship are linked to the child's psychological development, specifically how responsive the parents are, and how demanding they are.
Responsive parents are warm and accepting toward their children, enjoying them and trying to see things from their perspective. In contrast, nonresponsive parents are aloof, rejecting, or critical. They show little pleasure in their children and are often insensitive to their emotional needs. Some parents are demanding, while others are too tolerant. Children's healthy psychological development is facilitated when the parents are both responsive and moderately demanding.
During toddlerhood, children often begin to assert their need for autonomy by challenging their parents. Sometimes, the child's newfound assertiveness during the so-called terrible twos can put a strain on the parent-child relationship.
It is important that parents recognize that this behavior is normal for the toddler, and the healthy development of independence is promoted by a parent-child relationship that provides support for the child's developing sense of autonomy.
In many regards, the security of the first attachment between infant and parent provides the child with the emotional base to begin exploring the world outside the parent-child relationship. Preschool Various parenting styles evolve during the preschool years. Preschoolers with authoritative parents are curious about new experiences, focused and skilled at playself-reliant, self-controlled, and cheerful.
School age During the elementary school years, the child becomes increasingly interested in peers, but this is not be a sign of disinterest in the parent-child relationship. Rather, with the natural broadening of psychosocial and cognitive abilities, the child's social world expands to include more people and settings beyond the home environment.
The parent-child relationship remains the most important influence on the child's development. Children whose parents are both responsive and demanding continue to thrive psychologically and socially during the middle childhood years. During the school years, the parent-child relationship continues to be influenced by the child and the parents.
In most families, patterns of interaction between parent and child are well established in the elementary school years. Adolescence As the child enters adolescencebiological, cognitive, and emotional changes transform the parent-child relationship.
The child's urges for independence may challenge parents' authority.