Power and control wheel love is respect relationship

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power and control wheel love is respect relationship

When one person in a relationship repeatedly scares, hurts or puts down the other person, it is Nebraska Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Coalition POWER. &. CONTROL. WHEEL using jealousy as a sign of love A strong dating relationship is based on EQUALITY and RESPECT, not power and control. All relationships exist on a spectrum from healthy to abusive with unhealthy somewhere in the middle. Check out the Relationship Spectrum to see where your. Healthy Relationships: Teen Dating Equality & Respect Wheel Social Skills Activities, Counseling . Power and Control Wheel | serii.info is.

Many women are not employed outside of the home. Many women have no property that is solely theirs. Some women lack access to cash or bank accounts. Women who leave fear being charged with desertion and losing children and joint assets.

A woman may face a decline in living standards for herself and her child ren. In the first year after a divorce, a woman's standard of living drops by 73 percent, while a man's improves by an average of 42 percent. Up to 50 percent of all homeless women and children in the U. Yet there are nearly three times as many animal shelters in the U. After being in a shelter, many women return to their batterers primarily because they cannot locate longer-term housing.

Violent fathers use school records or the presence of children at school to track down the mothers. Abusers may keep or destroy documentation like birth certificates and immunization records, thus preventing or seriously delaying the children's entry into school and the family's receiving welfare benefits or housing assistance.

Institutional Responses Religious leaders may believe in "saving" the marriage at all costs and may counsel the women to be "better wives. LDS women may feel abandoned by God.

power and control wheel love is respect relationship

If they were married in the temple, they may worry that divorcing will be unrighteous. They may find that ward members are critical of a decision to divorce. Police officers often do not provide support to battered women. They treat violence as a domestic "dispute," instead of a crime where one person is physically attacking another person.

The Equality Wheel Explained

Police may try to dissuade women from filing charges. Prosecutors are often reluctant to prosecute cases, and judges rarely levy the maximum sentence upon convicted abusers.

  • Teen Dating Violence Resources
  • Is This Abuse?
  • The Relationship Spectrum

Probation or a fine is much more common. Despite the issuing of a restraining order, there is little to prevent a released abuser from returning and repeating the assault. Despite greater public awareness and the increased availability of housing for women fleeing violent partners, there are not enough shelters to keep women safe.

Traditional Ideology Many women do not believe divorce is a viable alternative.

power and control wheel love is respect relationship

Many women believe that a single parent family is unacceptable, and that even a violent father is better than no father at all. Many women are socialized to believe that they are responsible for making their marriage work. Failure to maintain the marriage equals failure as a woman. In the LDS culture, it is very difficult to be divorced in a family-oriented church. Many women become isolated from friends and families, either by the jealous and possessive abuser, or to hide signs of the abuse from the outside world.

The isolation contributes to a sense that there is nowhere to turn.

power and control wheel love is respect relationship

Many women rationalize their abuser's behavior by blaming stress, alcohol, problems at work, employment, or other factors. Many women are taught that their identity and worth are contingent upon getting and keeping a man. The abuser rarely beats the woman all the time.

During the non-violent phases, he may fulfill the woman's dream of romantic love. So the real challenge to finding a healthy relationship is differentiating the natural chemical induced in-love feeling from feelings based on the behavior of your partner toward you. These behaviors are typically based on power and control of a person. They are not based on genuine respect, appreciation and love of that person.

The power and control wheel below shows some of these behaviors which are abusive or might lead to an abusive relationship.

Healthy vs UNhealthy Relationship

Pushing, hitting, threatening violence Name-calling, putting you down, blaming you for their actions Destroying your property or harming loved ones children or pets Isolating you from family and friends The first sign that a relationship is unhealthy will be how you feel. We have all experienced that uncomfortable feeling when our intuition tells us something is just not right.

Listen to that feeling.


If you feel hurt, humiliated, saddened, resentful or just confused, this is your sign to ask yourself why you feel this way. If your feeling is based on one of the behaviors in the power and control wheel, this is a RED FLAG that the relationship is unhealthy or going in an unhealthy direction.

Be careful not to minimize these behaviors. So what does a healthy romantic relationship look like?

power and control wheel love is respect relationship

Aristotle believed that true love is friendship, and friendship is only really possible between equals Aristotle. These are care, responsibility, respect and knowledge…. Love is the active concern for the life and the growth of that which we love…. Respect means the concern that the other person should grow and unfold as he is.

Respect, thus, implies the absence of exploitation.