Northwestern's policy on graduate student-faculty dating restricting “There should be a professional norm in teaching just like there is in other. Many argue that since undergraduate and graduate students are of legal age and therefore consenting adults, and relationships sometimes do. Mentoring is the ideal for the graduate student/professor relationship. Indeed The teacher no longer serves the purposes of the student. Instead, they both.
Prof/Grad Relationships – Grad Resources
It all began 10 years this week. I was 17, and he At first it was innocent enough. I bummed a smoke off him at morning lecture break. We chatted about the Epic of Gilgamesh, or something similarly innocuous and liberal-artsy. He wore Ray-Bans before they made a comeback, plaid before it became a hipster trend, and he had a nervous, charming, rambling beatnik-meets-Tom Waits aura about him like he was on the verge of either mental collapse or genius.
We drank, we smoked pot, we drank some more. All of a sudden it was just him and me left on his scratchy tartan couch. Surrounded by empty bottles of red wine and smoky stacks of collected rare books, you can imagine what happened next. The rest of my undergrad experience was peppered with our sexual encounters and spirited — at times dangerous — adventures. I became friends with his young sons.
I met his mother. I hosted soirees for faculty and students alike at his downtown apartment. Three of these include: Faculty also agreed upon the most serious reasoning errors and critical incidents.
Then implement the most valued reasoning skills to give yourself greater acceptability and distinction. Develop your communication skills. Strive for good, clear, honest communication with your advisor. As a student, you can initiate dialogue. But achieving and maintaining communication channels means knowing how to open a conversion, when to speak and when to listen, and how to communicate your desires and concerns.
To practice active listening, the sender gets tangible feedback from the receiver as to ho v he, the receiver, should decode the message. After hearing the feedback, the sender then either confirms or corrects the message. Should your advisor correct what you have said, then verbally confirm that correction. Your feedback avoids needless miscommunication and helps you focus your thinking in the right direction. Active listening also involves using your interaction time wisely.
When meeting with a professor, be organized. Allow him twenty-four hours to reflect on his response and suggestions. But in almost all cases, it is better to confront than to avoid. Destructive behaviors, such as ordering, threatening, judging or criticizing act as vehicles for communicating unacceptance rather than opening doors for further problem-solving. But confrontation and active listening are important. Many students have found that constructive conflict helps bring problems into the open where they can be dealt with.
One political science grad described his experience this way: My advisor is difficult to get along with because he has low social skills. At one point, l was running ten minutes late to get a stack of exams to his home. An electrical engineering student said: I had developed an eye problem from the stress.
He agreed to let up. Using good communication skills will enable you to know your professors better and help them in assisting you. They have an extensive network they can tap through the academic village.
Professors, power and predators: why student-teacher relationships should be banned
Create an environment for dialogue by expressing your concerns and frustrations, as well as your successes, and listening to theirs. Second, if you find it impossible to develop a mentor relationship with your advisor, reach out to other sources within the academic village. They feel that the faculty and older students should be the first to approach them.
But that can have tragic results. Seek out other faculty members. Faculty members usually will not take the initiative to come to you as many feel they should respect your privacy. But when you initiate the relationship, many will respond favorably. They will see that you value their advice and experience. Give up your expectations of having your advisor as your mentor and find another professor who has the time and is amenable to advising you.
One student added this caution: Many campuses have support groups for graduate students. If you have difficulty relating to your advisor or others in your department, search for other groups that can help you.
Join these groups and help in working for the kinds of modifications you would like to see. Realize that you are responsible for the generation and implementation of desirable changes. A group of students with similar concerns can do much. Get involved in your department. Involvement can begin even before going on to the next phase of training.
Another grad interviewed faculty in his department to see whether he would get along with his advisor. Have an idea of the type of person you would like to study under. But he treats me like a colleague. Keep involvement high during your years in the department. Many students get so caught up in their own research and dissertation that they fail to see how their work relates to the ongoing accomplishments of the department as a whole. Visibility will help you build bridges to faculty.
Initiate a relationship with a more experienced graduate student. A person who is farther along in his program may have weathered situations similar to those you face, or perhaps both of you are currently confronting the same problems. Such relationships could prove to be of mutual benefit.
Also work within the system to help older grads free themselves to help younger students. Then identify and encourage students willing to perform that role. Keep a realistic view of a worsening situation. A grad needs to be perceptive enough to assess the situation and see when it becomes too difficult to continue. My relationship with my faculty advisor was so poor that this situation prompted me to lay out a year and change advisors. Now, my relationship with my advisor is great. Knowing when to persevere with contact and when to move on takes thought and planning.
Each of these resources can help deepen the feeling of community you realize from quality relationships. They can give you a broader and more complete vision of what you can do in your chosen field. But none of these solutions is a complete answer to the tensions between grads and their professors.
Sometimes you may work hard at establishing quality relationships, but fractions, contentions and disagreements still threaten your progress. Although you adjust your expectations, acquire better communication skills, and develop relationships in the midst of pressure, one element is more important to your over-all success — deepening your personal security.
Third, deepen your personal security. The only ingredient of a relationship you can truly control is yourself. Without a sense of self-esteem and inner peace to handle stress, your relationships will not hold up under pressure. Take time to assess your emotional and mental well-being at least once a term.
Time spent in this pursuit will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life. These suggestions will help you build security in spite of a heavy schedule and intense time demands. Get involved outside your department with family and friends. Personal security receives nourishment from varied contacts.
Remember that the graduate program is your main occupation at this time of life, but that you also need time away from the job just as you will when you enter professional life. Stay in tune with your spouse and his or her world. Cultivate friendships away from the university. Realize your other social opportunities. To what other affinity groups do you belong outside of your departmental interests? Do you have a membership in a gym or spa where you can meet other people as well as do some physical exercise?
Do you have hobbies which you can share with other enthusiasts? One graduate student in the humanities became interested in 18th Century European porcelain.
He found others in his area who shared his fascination and together they formed a tour of some of the famous porcelain factories of Europe. Together they discovered many common interests. Set short-term and long-range goals. But setting long-range goals is even more essential.
- I dated my university professor – and it was a messy, eye-opening experience
- Yale University Publications 2018–2019
In the midst of the day-to-day grind, keep clearly in mind what your ultimate aims are and note your progress. Keep a journal of your advancement or depict it on a time line.
Develop a personal sense of importance and a healthy self-esteem. This is the key to deepening personal security. Without these qualities, graduate school can become a nightmare.
Policy on Teacher-Student Consensual Relations < Yale University
They exert a tentacular power. Reading them should, at the very least, make us question the dynamics in these relationships and what needs to be done to discourage them from happening. Right now, with nothing explicitly forbidding professors from dating students, academic institutions would do well to address the weaknesses in their own conduct codes that basically enables, and possibly facilitates this behaviour, and places the onus of proof on the students to explain why they feel wronged or taken advantage of — ultimately protecting the professor in the long run.
With a change in the conduct code, the onus would automatically fall on the professors and not on the more vulnerable party. Sexual harassment training for faculty members should be mandatory, and a professor in a relationship with a student should be obligated to report it to the administration and ensure they are not responsible for grading or teaching that student.
In cases of documented abuse however, meaningful sanctions should be imposed. The sole focus shouldn't be on protecting the institution's reputation, which creates the impression that faculty members are always protected and these relationships condoned.
These relationships can, for example, toxic for other students. Imagine taking a class where you know your fellow student is sleeping with the professor — the appearance of unprofessional conduct alone, or possible distorted judgement or favouritism undermines the institution and the profession. Professors have a lot of power over things like internships, references scholarships, conferences, research and teaching assistantships, etc. Bourrie said he feels that the university failed to act on his concerns.
A student hits the books at the University of the Fraser Valley's library on Sept.