How To Ensure Your Long Distance Relationship Leads To Marriage - xoNecole
Hi all, I have been in a long distance relationship for 2 years with 2 more years to go. We were We plan to get married when I graduate university in I've heard people who have been in long distance relationships for even This should be a mandatory conversation that takes place even. You should be happy with the idea I would marry him and grow.
You should be happy with the idea of coming back! But please stop crying. Believe it or not but I knew then and there that I was going to spend the rest of my life with this guy.
I did not know how or when it was going to happen, I simply knew it would. I would marry him and grow old with him. And now, here we are 8 years later. Together in that same city where we fell in love.
In spite of the distance, the obstacles, and the cultural differences. Also, one of the funniest and romantic moments of our relationship was when he proposed to me. I really did not expect him to do it. It was a family outing, my family. My entire family, from my mom side.
My grandparents, my uncles, my aunties, my cousins. Even my mom, who lives in France, and my brother, who lives in Saigon were there. We hired a van and went a little bit out of town to that amazing restaurant with a fountain and gorgeous garden with flowers and bamboos and stuff.
After lunch, we all came out and sat in the garden to drink tea and eat cakes. It was really great. The weather was glorious, sunny and windy. My husband was very jumpy and seemed agitated. I asked him if he was feeling OK.
He stood up and sat down a bunch of times before he finally told me: Everybody was cheering, laughing but also crying. It was very emotional. I will never forget that moment and cherish it always.
How To Ensure Your Long Distance Relationship Leads To Marriage
A romantic dinner just the two of us or something. Oh boy, I was in for a surprise. He later told me he was actually carrying the ring in his pocket for weeks, waiting for the perfect moment. He never really felt the right moment until that day. The setting was beautiful and I was surrounded by my loved ones. When you two were together, how did your and his family react to this cross-cultural relationship and then marriage? I think any Vietnamese mothers always wish deep down that their sons marry a good Vietnamese girl.
And then, 1 year passes, 2 years pass, then 3 and more. With time I got to learn to know his family and him and vice versa. My mother in law is an amazing woman. We went to France last Christmas for him to meet my family. It was the first time for him but also for our daughter, who was 4 months old at the time!
First time in Paris for Hoang Anh Prior to meeting your husband, had you ever dated anyone from a different culture?
I have to specify that my mother is also Vietnamese, therefore I am not completely unfamiliar with the culture here, the traditions, even the language to some extension.
Tips for Engaged Long-Distance Relationships
But as a teenager, I remember always telling myself and swearing myself three things. Prior to meeting Hoang Anh, I only dated Frenchmen. As I said, I never expected to be dating a Vietnamese man! I guess the main difference is that Vietnamese men consider family as being a big part and a big priority in their life.
I cannot speak for all Vietnamese men since I have only been with Hoang Anh, but he sure is, more thoughtful, caring and mature than most Western men I dated in the past. When we first started dating Have you two ever had any cross-cultural miscommunications?
Since my mom is Vietnamese, I can speak it quite fluently now actually, I have been taking writing and reading lessons since I moved here in Forcing myself to read a lot, anything on the Internet really. He says I sound like a kid. One time, back when I just moved here, around earlywe were together on his bike, driving around town and I was feeling hungry.
So I was like awesome! It was dirty and smelly and there were tools and bikes in pieces everywhere. I asked one of the guy: So, there we were, him based in Nigeria, me based in London, madly in love.
The thing is, ever since moving to the UK, I always knew that it was a temporary situation and that I would eventually move back to Nigeria so that shaped my decision to enter into an LDR with my husband when I did. I knew that at some point we would be together physically and that the distance was a temporary roadblock to that reality. There were a few key points that helped me during my LDR, and this leads me to my first point: Having A Clear Goal This should be a mandatory conversation that takes place even before you start the relationship.
Where is this going? Is there a goal? Is one person going to move to be with the other? They say love conquers all but let's be real, if the love was that strong, one of you would compromise and agree to move to be with the other.
In the meantime, have a clear plan of how often you will make trips to visit each other until you can be together on a more permanent basis. Trust Trust is probably the most important factor in maintaining any relationship, but especially a long distance one. You're not in the same country and a billion things could run through your mind when you can't get ahold of your partner on the phone or when they go out with their friends.
On the flipside of that, I also heard a lot of the phrase, "End it, it's not worth it. At the end of the day, you know your partner more than any of them do and you're the one in the relationship, not them, so pay no mind to the naysayers.
Communication is key in an LDR, which leads me to my next point. So many self-help sites and relationship guides will tell you not to overcompensate not seeing each other with phone conversations or messages, but I say why not?
I don't mean spending your whole day and night talking to your partner because you wouldn't necessarily do that if you were together physically, but definitely make more of an effort than you would if it wasn't a long distance relationship. This is also a great chance for your friendship to develop without being distracted by the physical. I laugh whenever I think of how much 02 International and MTN credit we used to burn before we started using FaceTime and Skype to communicate on the regular.
It helped us grow as a couple. We learnt so much about each other just through talking and listening to one another extensively.If You're In A Long Distance Relationship, Watch This
Even when we went for our marriage counselling session, our counsellor was surprised at how much we already knew about each other and how much we had discussed, regarding our future.
Self-Growth I really used our time apart to develop myself as a person.